Things continue to go well, except that I’m cold. 🙂 My weight loss has accelerated a bit, I’m not sure why. I’m not assuming it’s going to stay that way. However, as of today I am down 44 lbs. I’ve got about 50 to go to the point where I think I’d be pretty satisfied (200 lbs), and 70 to my ideal goal (180 lbs).
I had made a plan that, when I hit 250, I would start trying to jog a bit. I’ve tried the “Couch to 5k” app several times, and I like its training program pretty well. The first time I tried following it, though, I pushed it too hard (as per usual for me) and it didn’t go well. Most specifically, I remember calling my wife one day because one training run left my knees hurting so badly that I needed her to come pick me up.I weighed more than this those times, though, and I have a better ability now to judge when I’m pushing it too hard, so I have hopes that I can make it work.
I’m seeing my surgeon on Wednesday for the one-month checkup (slightly delayed in this case). I’m hoping he’ll clear me for lifting heavier weights; I’d like to start some weight training, and it would be nice to feel sure about doing more things around the house. I’m using the elliptical and treadmills at Palomar’s fitness center, which is a nice way to start the day, but adding some weight training would be nice too. I’m also hoping to expand my food choices a bit. Maybe some ground turkey…I miss chili. I also miss pasta terribly, but I know that I’d have to be very careful about that much refined carbohydrate. Portion control is going to be a big challenge for me.
My blood sugar has remained normal, which is wonderful. Honestly, even if the surgery did nothing but help put my diabetes into remission, I’d consider it a win. But I do also enjoy the fact that I’ve lost enough weight that I am starting to need new clothes, and I feel healthier. I’m still paying a lot of attention to appetite, and when and why I feel hungry. Being able to see that I have eaten to avoid boredom has been a big revelation for me. The surgery is really helping me to understand those issues with food; since the strong physical desire to eat has diminished so drastically, I am more able to assess *why* I feel some desire to eat, and it’s easier to name it and deal with it. I am aware that this much focus on food is, potentially, not a healthy thing either, and so I see some challenges ahead:
- To avoid developing a different eating disorder, this time focused on how little I can eat, and paying unhealthy attention to quantity and frequency of eating
- To avoid falling back into the same habits of eating as before, once I am able to eat more different foods, and in greater quantities.
The goal should be to eat reasonable portions of healthful food and enjoy them, without having food take on a greater-than-appropriate role in my life. It should serve nutritive, sensual, and social functions; it should not serve self-comforting, anti-boredom, or anti-anxiety functions. Which means I’ll need to fimnd other things to fill those roles.